It’s been 7 months since I was made redundant and my life was turned upside down, or is that inside out? I was lucky to get enough of a payment not to have to worry for a few months, so you’d think it was a wonderful time. Not exactly. Not going to work every day and having that structure in my life has been surprisingly hard. And watching my husband having to continue with the rat race is not easy either. Initially I felt rejected, lost and lonely and those feelings still surface every now and then, but not so often. I miss my work colleagues the most.
Of course this time has given me the gift of playing with my creativity. It has happened in fits and starts, some weeks I paint nothing, today I have done four large watercolours! I don’t know when inspiration will strike again. I have done far more photography than painting, partly because it is so accessible and free. Painting costs a surprising amount – I was looking at my favourite watercolour brush today and it needs replacing, but it will cost about £20 to do so and so I just carry on with the old one. I need to practice not totting up the cost of the paper every time I get a big sheet of Archers out!
And having such topsy turvy feelings is actually a boon, practicing mindfulness means I notice the feeling and wonder where it came from and often I will paint or photograph something that illustrates the feeling – more in a post later.
And we have some wonderful vegetables this year! I have not had time to cultivate the veggie patch for many years, ever since working full time, so that has been very rewarding and saved us a few pounds on fresh veg. Although a glut of cucumbers is a little hard to deal with, we’ve been passing them onto anyone who will take them!
So this time has been a huge gift, something I could not have foreseen. I’ve had a lot of fun!
I still have huge doubts – not that I am an artist, I got my head around that one – but that I will be able to do something with this. I am not keen on going back to my old life in IT – but I know I need to make a living some how, at some point in a year or so.
It’s only six weeks now until I start my Masters Fine Art at the local university. I can’t quite believe my life has taken this extraordinary turn! To describe myself as excited is an understatement – but it is a huge unknown and I am also rather daunted.
And before then is Fareham Arts Festival where I have a few pictures on display – it would be a huge boost to sell one but I have no expectations, it is just fun to share them and I hope they go down well.
Loved the above pic I took in Portsmouth on a street photography walk recently of minions and a window cleaner!