I have mentioned before that I am synaesthetic. I don’t see numbers or words as colours or see music as colours (although that sounds amazing) – mainly I have a very specific way that I see numbers in time. I had no idea about synaesthesia until I was in my mid-40’s when I was driving and heard a BBC Radio4 programme about it, I nearly crashed the car! That was me! I thought everyone saw numbers like me.
Number form synaesthesia
I have number-form synaesthesia, which involves a complicated moving, coloured, ribbon of numbers going forwards and backwards from differing perspectives depending on the context (time, calendars, days of the week or just normal numbers). It makes juggling numbers quite complicated sometimes but also I can grasp some concepts easily because I see it in visual form.
This can be quite a handicap when I cannot envisage one number as higher than another – ‘greater’ yes, ‘higher’ no.
I didn’t think much about it until I started doing my art and I realised how being synaesthetic affects my art and how I see the world, and I have started to take it more seriously again. I read Wednesday is Indigo Blue (Crytowic / Eagleman) and it piqued my interest, especially as I realised that other aspects of how I see the world are synaesthetic too (perhaps more about that in the future!).
As I have been practicing more mindfulness since I have been off work, it has caused me to ask more often ‘What am I feeling right now?’ this led very naturally for me to ask ‘What shape is that feeling?’ and more recently, ‘What colour is that feeling?’
I started to paint my feelings. This is different to my photography, which tries to convey feelings via an image – this is attempting to paint the actual feeling. I found this very theraputic and also was surprised to find that others got a strong sense of feelings when they saw the image (although not necessarily the same one as me). I was recently worried about a family member who was ill, and the sketch below (I haven’t had time to translate this into a large watercolour yet) is my feeling of ‘Worry’ and ‘Scared’. I am not sure about the colours yet, perhaps that is why I haven’t painted it.
This week I was idly sketching and I got a strong sense that my husband’s love felt yellow. It hadn’t occurred to me that feelings had colours before and I was interested in this, especially as ‘traditionally’ love is red in our society. I thought about why yellow and it was the universally uplifting and postivivity of yellow that made it feel right. I wondered what colour my love for him was, and I immediately knew it was purple. Strong, deep and rich.
It amused me to realise that these two colours where complementary! So I did the watercolour above – it’s called ‘We are complementary’.
Of course I have no idea if everyone thinks like this, after all it is common in our language to speak about being green with envy or purple with rage. I am sure most people could empathise with anger being spiky or love being soft and rounded. I don’t know if this is synaesthesia or common to us all.
There are many artists who are known to be synaesthetic, and it’s not surprising. It is also perhaps not surprising that some of my favorite artists are Van Gogh, Hockney and Kandinsky! Perhaps we see the world in a similar way.
According to a 2010 study, there is a higher prevalence of synaesthesia in art students, so it obviously does influence our actions.
I suspect that every synaesthete is unique, that we all have our senses interconnected in subtly different ways, which is wonderful for the world of art and the different ways we see and experience the world.
More info on synaesthesia in art here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Synesthesia_in_art
You can find out more about synaesthesia here: http://www.synesthesiatest.org/
Do you have shapes for feelings? Know that some feelings are a certain colour? I’d love to hear your experiences.